Beach Blanket Bigotry 03

I had, and still have, a lot of guilty pleasures in my life. One of them, when I was a little girl, were those old 1960s beach party movies that they showed on cable TV. The ones that starred Frankie Avalon and Annette Funicello. They were corny as can be but I LOVED watching them with my grandmother. And being a little girl with an active imagination I'd daydream my own beach party. In them I was an adult on the beach belting out tunes while prancing around in a bikini. And, of course, the people were all dancing and digging the scene.

Thanks to Boomsday At The Beach my daydreams of bygone years had just become a dream come true. There I was, an adult on the beach, belting out tunes while prancing around in a bikini. And, of course, the people were all dancing and digging the scene. And, OF COURSE, my luck being true to form, the dream became a nightmare. Something far worse than Harvey Lembeck arrived to mess things up.

My "Eric Von Zipper" was the so-called Friends Of Humanity.

Somehow those racist extremists found out I was secretly a mutant and picked me as their next target. They ambushed my performance and swarmed in like army ants. ARMED army ants. They were prepared to fight a war. My first instinct was to lash out and give them that war. But my band...my friends...They would have been hurt or killed if I did. We all had those laser targeting lights on us. And, even if I managed to dodge the sniper's bullet, and save the band with a blinding dazzle-burst, there was still the audience to consider. Innocent bystanders would have been caught in the resulting crossfire. I could do nothing. Nothing except let those creeps take me. 

They bound and gagged me and threatened to kill my friends if I tried anything.  If my silver bikini even shimmered funny...

The crowd that attended my performance was now, literally, a captive audience. One held at gunpoint and forced to watch THEIR show. A show with me as the reluctant guest-star.

Not only was I accused of being a mutant. I was accused of being a SUBVERSIVE mutant. Those assinine witch hunters were either lying flat out or were seriously mis-informed about me. The speaker of the bunch claimed I was using my "freakish lights" and "freakish voice" (?) to brainwash the unsuspecting "true" humanity. That I was making them submissive to the will of their future mutant masters.  I tried to protest. But gagged as I was it was impossible. My "freakish voice" was stopped up and muted. Still I tried. And got knonked on the head by a rifle butt for my trouble.

When I recovered from the blow I was off the stage and on my knees in the sand. And I was looking right up at the old hanging sign post. The large one that once held the beach's name and displayed a map of the area. (Concession stands, restaurants, rest rooms, life guard stations and such.) Part of the bracket had been sawed off leaving only one of the two hooks left. And on THAT hook was a hangman's noose.

These bastards were gonna LYNCH ME!

I glanced around. My friends were still on the nearby stage. Along with their armed guards and the creep in charge. The audience was still held in place by their guards. All of them forced to watch my public execution.

My MURDER!

A large, big-wheeled, pick-up pulled up next to the sign post. One of those white-garbed weasels was driving it. Three more of them were in the back. I figured they were going to put me on top of it and then drive it out from under me. I would fall and the noose would either snap my neck or choke the life out of me as I dangled.

Make no mistake. I was SCARED! Seriously seriously scared.  But I was angry too. Angry enough to not blubber like a baby in front of them.

I noticed two helicopters circling around. A news and police chopper respectively.  Obviously the police couldn't do anything for fear of endangering the hostages. All they could do, for the moment, was watch. Like everyone else who was there.

And my super hero friends? Clearly they had more important things to do than attend a beach party.

Let's face it. I was screwed.

As I thought they would, they dragged me to the truck. I dared not flare up. My friends would be murdered if I did. They probably would be killed anyway after I was dead. I wouldn't put it past these miserable assholes. I didn't want to die. I wanted to lash out and give these hate-mongering ass-wipes what they deserved. But could I live with myself if I caused the deaths of people who have always stuck by me through thick and thin? People who knew what I was and still loved me? No. No I couldn't.

They placed me on top of the cab and put the noose around my neck. After they jumped clear of me the creep in charge spoke from the stage.

"SOME OF YOU MISGUIDED PEOPLE THINK WE ARE MURDERERS! WELL YOU ARE WRONG! WE ARE SIMPLY KILLING A RABID ANIMAL! WE ARE ERADICATING A DISEASE INFESTED BEAST THAT THREATENS TO CONTAMINATE THE HUMAN RACE INTO EXTINCTION! WE ARE SAVING LIVES NOT TAKING THEM!"

Oh what a load of bull.

Then he ordered, "DO IT!"

The monster truck, (I think that's what these things were called), peeled out from under me. This was it. I was going to...

Float like a balloon?

I heard some of the creeps below me swear JUST before the thunderclap. Clouds rolled in and the wind blew. There were flashes of lightning that struck with a surgeon's precision. Causing those near me, that were holding weapons, to drop them. I only knew one person who could do that.

{Do absoulutely nothing, Ali. Just play along. I'll get you out of this.}

Jean Grey? Of course! Who else could make me float in the air?

Those two helicopers that were buzzing the place vanished and were replaced by Jean and Ororo, (the lightning weilder), and a...floating camcorder?  The choppers were a mental illusion brought on by Jean.  And both she and Ororo were wearing bikinis. Which meant that two of my super hero friends DID have nothing better to do than attend a beach party.

I glanced over to the others to see weapons of all sorts floating up into the air and then bunch together. Jean then hurled them out to sea. Then she made all the FOHs' also float upward. And when she spoke it was in that scarey Pheonix voice. She didn't have the Pheonix power anymore. But she could still do the voice. That and Storm's thunderous background made for a truely biblical scene.

"FRIENDS OF HUMANITY? I THINK NOT! YOU ARE THE FOOLS OF HUMANITY! INCONCIEVABLE FOOLS! THE LOT OF YOU! YOU DARE TO ACCUSE THIS WOMAN OF BEING A MUTANT! BASED ON WHAT? CIRCUMSTANTIAL EVIDENCE? HEARSAY? RUMORS AND SPECULATION WITH NO ACTUAL FACTS?

"I CAN READ YOUR FEEBLE LITTLE MINDS LIKE A COMIC BOOK! I KNOW YOU ONLY HAVE SUSPICIONS!"

They really didn't know? All of this crap was based on a lucky hunch?

"THIS GOOD WOMAN IS A GIFTED SINGER WITH A GIMMICK! SHE ONLY WANTS TO ENTERTAIN...NOT ENSLAVE!!! WERE SHE THE MUTANT YOU THINK SHE IS DO YOU THINK THIS IDIOTIC STUNT YOU ARE PULLING WOULD HAVE GOTTEN THIS FAR? DO YOU HONESTLY BELIEVE THAT THREATENING TO KILL HER CO-WORKERS, RECKLESSLY ENDANGERING HER AUDIENCE...HOMO-SAPIANS ALL...THE VERY PEOPLE YOU CLAIM YOU ARE PROTECTING...DO YOU HONESTLY THINK THAT WOULD HAVE MATTERED TO HER WERE SHE THE MUTANT YOU CLAIMED SHE IS?"

To this very day I don't know if Jean was using telepatic mind control or just psychology. Or perhaps both. But she was doing it for the benefit of the audience and anyone else who was watching. Jean Grey didn't lie. She told the truth. But she did it in such a way that people naturally assumed I was an innocent homo-sapian who was the victim of circumstance. It didn't occure to them I WAS a mutant who was a singer with a gimmick. That I only wanted to entertain. And that the lives of my friends and innocent by-standers...homo-sapians all...DID matter to me.

Then Jean got down to business. 

"YOU HAVE KILLED IN THE PAST! BRUTALLY MURDERED YOUNG CHILDREN! INNOCENT BEINGS WHO WERE FRIGHTENED AND CONFUSED OVER THEIR SUDDEN AND UNEXPECTED MANIFESTATION! KIDS WHO COULDN'T FIGHT BACK!

"AND THEIR PARENTS AS WELL! THEY DIED, BY YOUR HANDS, FOR HAVING DARED TO SPAWN A MUTANT!

"SUCH BRAVE HEROES YOU ARE! KILLING THE HELPLESS!

"WELL NOW YOU 'HEROES' FACE ADULTS! MUTANT ADULTS WHO KNOW HOW TO USE THEIR POWER! MUTANT ADULTS WHO AREN'T FRIGHTENED AND CONFUSED! MUTANT ADULTS WHO CAN, AND WILL, FIGHT BACK! BECAUSE WE ARE NOT HELPLESS!"

And with that the Friends Of Humanity all, every one of them, screamed. They begged. Pleaded. Sobbed. Some even soiled their pants.

"Jean." Storm looked concerned. "What are you doing to them?"

"A couple of years before you joined up we original X-Men investigated a mutant manifestation." Jean replied in her normal voice. No one else but Ororo and I could hear her. "When we arrived we found the mutant. A young boy barely in his teens. Younger than Iceman was when his powers manifested. He was beaten near to death by an anti-mutant vigilante group. Adult men masked in hoods. A precurser to this group. We tried to save him but we were too late. He died. But not before I probed his mind. I experienced everything he did.  The fear. The pain. The confusion over it all.

"Well now THEY are experiencing the EXACT same thing he did."

"Works for me." Ororo replied. "Always loved poetic justice."

Ororo stopped her stormy display and came over to finally untie me. As she removed the noose I noticed that floating camcorder was aimed right at us.

"Our sincerest apologies, Alison Blaire." She said as she began unbuckling the gag.  "We thought it best to record the crime in progress. To, forgive the pun, give these cretins enough rope to hang themselves." 

I later learned that camcorder was being used to record the concerts for one of the New Mutants. When this mess started Jean decided to use it to gather physical evidence against the FOH.

When that damned gag came out I replied, "All things considered, Storm, I gladly forgive you.  Thank God I had my mutant friends in the audience tonight."

I said "mutant friends" to add to Jean's efforts to convince everyone that I WAS just a gifted singer with a gimmick. A singer who had mutant fans.

"Indeed." Ororo answered as she began to work on my armbinder. "Are you all right, Alison?"

"I will be when I find the idiot responsible for all this." There was no humor in my voice. "I'm gonna kick him in the ass so hard my footprint will be found on the INSIDE of his tongue."

Ororo smiled that slight smile that meant she approved the idea. "I'll see if I can make it happen."

Jean stopped her mental assault just moments before that poor mutant boy had died. Probably to make sure none of her victims would accidently think themselves to death. The floating Friends Of Humanity suddenly found themselves back in the present.

Jean resumed her Phoenix voice and Storm, after releasing my pinned up arms, joined her. I was gently lowered back to Earth.

"THE POLICE WILL COME TO TAKE YOU INTO CUSTODY! YOU WILL CO-OPERATE WITH THEM! YOU WILL TELL THE TRUTH! THE WHOLE TRUTH! AND NOTHING BUT THE TRUTH!"

And with a dramatic gesture every mask flew off their heads, exposing their faces for all the world to see. Jean made a point of having the camcorder record those faces. Then the camcorder floated over to me just as the Friends were all bunched together and lowered onto the beach.

"DAZZLER! PLEASE SEE THAT THE POLICE GET THIS SO THEY CAN USE IT AS EVIDENCE AGAINST THESE PEOPLE! WHEN YOU GET IT BACK CONTACT THE BEAST AT AVENGERS' MANSION! HE'LL SEE THAT IT IS RETURNED TO US!

"OH. AND ONE OTHER THING..."

One of the Friends was sent floating over to me.

"THIS IS THE IDIOT RESPONSIBLE FOR RUINING OUR EVENING!"

He looked at me. Still shaken by living through that assault on the mutant boy. I looked at him. One would think I would turn around and walk away because he's suffered enough. One would think that. One would be wrong. I kicked him in the nuts. HARD! Because of this fool I was the catalyst in what's become the worst Boomsday in its' history. My friends and co-workers were threatened with death. I was almost killed. Needless to say I was PISSED OFF royally. I couldn't dazzle him since it would ruin what Jean Grey tried to do. And this prick deserved far worst than my usual right cross. So I attacked the ONLY thing manly about him.

As he fell to the ground, red faced and groaning, the formally captive audience applauded.

THEN I turned and walked away.

And, with that, the two X-Men flew away.

The FOH's stayed put. Either too stunned or telepathically ordered to not move.  I raced over to my friends. Marx, Hunch, Beefer, Dave and Dan. They met me halfway.

"Guys, are you okay?/Ali, are you okay?"

"Guys. I am SO sorry this happened to you."

"Why are you sorry?" Beefer was the first to say. Then he indicted the FOH. "THEY'RE the assholes responsible for all this." Every one of them agreed. Marx, Hunch, Beefer, who have been with me since the start. The new guys, Dave and Dan. All loyal. All sticking with me through thick and thin.

How I cherished them. I couldn't help myself. I broke down and cried as I embraced them all.

The police came in and rounded the FOH up. After we were done dealing with them the band and I had to deal with the reporters next.  After all the hulabaloo was over the boys went back to the stage to pack their instruments. I went to our van to change clothes and remove the face paint. I didn't want to be recognized for the rest of the evening. My posse was just arriving with their gear when I stepped out. Looking like any other blonde babe with a ponytail. And wearing a crop top, cut-offs and flip-flops.

I helped them load their stuff and then Dan asked...

"Well, what now? Go someplace to drown our sorrows?"

"You value your eyesight, Danny?" I asked.

"Yes, I do. Why do you ask such a question?"

Marx, Hunch and Beefer knew the answer. Dave pretty much figured it out.

"Because the last thing anybody who values their eyesight wants to do is hang around a drunk Dazzler."

Dan got it and we all laughed for the first time since our beach party got crashed.

"No, my friend." I said. "What were are gonna do is get some munchies, march back to that beach, and find a nice spot to sit. Then were are gonna enjoy the fireworks. Because that is the only thing left of Boomsday At The Beach that those Fatheads Of Humanity didn't ruin for everybody." 

Because of the Finks Of Humanity, and the hullabaloo that followed, the Boomsday schedule got messed up. The last concert of the evening, the MAIN one featuring Heart, was cancelled. A lot of us were disappointed. Some people got downright angry. For a moment I thought there was going to be a riot. But no. Thank God the worst that happened was foul language.

Later, as we marched across the beach with munchies in hand, two women joined us. A fair skinned redhead and a dark skinned exotic beauty with snow white hair. No doubt Jean made it so no one would recognize them. They too had changed clothes and had munchies in hand.

"Mind if we join you?" Ororo asked.

"Guys." I said. "You are MORE than welcome."

We found a spot and waited. Eating and chatting. Then the show began and we watched colorful explosions in the sky. Mutants and homo-sapians sitting side by side.

My friends in humanity.

The conclusion of a Production.

Dazzler, Jean Grey, Storm (c) marvel